 Photo of Beth sat looking at a copy of Feather Vane while her laptop screen shows a blank word document. Text reads: I don't remember writing this novel... Yesterday evening, I sat down to write about Feather Vane. I planned to cover all the usual things: how I got the idea, where it all started, and the writing process. Only when faced with my laptop I was as blank as the word document. Please, PLEASE don’t misunderstand me. This book is incredibly special to me. I love it. I know the plot, its characters and their world inside out. I know its themes and why they matter. I have a document with 10,000 words of planning (and if you know me or have had the editorial misfortune of working with me, you know planning is not my strong suit!) But when I think back to my life at the time I was actually writing it, I’ve got nothing.
So here’s the thing, my life at the time of writing Feather Vane was good, great even! But I was processing stuff that was neither, and it turns out the result is that I don’t remember much about that time. This realisation threw me because for my first novel, Wolf Siren, the moment when I got the idea was so clear-cut that it has a whole origin story. I know the first scene I wrote and which words from that first draft ended up in print! But Feather Vane is different, both as a writing project and a finished novel. When I think about the story, I feel calm and happy. I adored this world and its characters and creatures and magic. You might have noticed that I’ve said something similar in several posts already! I simply had so much fun being there, even if I can’t recall when or where I wrote what as I can with Wolf Siren. And yes I am aware this isn’t normal! Realising I couldn’t remember how, when or where I started this novel, or much of the process after, freaked me out. Partly because when my memory isn’t blank, it’s usually pretty good! But after my initial wobble, I sat down to write about this instead (because that’s all I know!) and I realised that it doesn’t really matter that I don’t remember all the details. Between notes, plans, emails and my camera roll, I can piece a timeline together of the things I’ve forgotten, but what I do remember is the heart of it… I remember the story unfolding, not the hours at the keyboard. I remember the details of my made-up world because being there was way more fun than being inside my own head. I remember the joy, the calm, the fun because that’s what I needed at the time. For me, writing Feather Vane was like finding out escapism could give hugs. I love it for that, and I hope you’ll love it too!
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